It's all about the "panning"

Feb. 22nd I took a midterm. I can't tell you how stressed out I was over this. For starters, hubby was off work starting Monday morning..... and won't return to work until the evening of March 4th!! I really just wanted to BE HOME with him. Also, it had been like 20yrs since I've taken any sort of test that I can recall LOL I had to go Monday, even though the kids were off due to President's Day.... nice huh?? I had to go to school!!! Grrr.....

We were given a study guide for the midterm. We went over all the questions, answered them and all that fun stuff. When I got home that afternoon, I looked it over some, went through the book. As he had said not everything is covered on this guide. Tuesday I did more of the same and took some pictures to help reinforce some of the things we've been learning. I will never keep aperture and shutter speed right.... anyhow... I studied hard Tuesday. For a good 4hrs at least. Then I took off for the store, bought a few things to do a make shift home studio. I also picked up hubby the new 360 game Fight Night :o) Early Bday present for him!!

Weds came..... I was sure hopeful I would do well on this exam. Brian first had an ortho apt, so he got out of school that day. They put teenie rubber bands around 4 of his teeth to make room for the caps that will be put on this Weds and then more hardware next Weds. Lucky kid. The teenie rubber bands were uncomfortable enough.... boy is he in for a treat huh? LOL

We were in and out of there, and got to the school parking lot, a metered spot of course, but hey, it was close!! :o) I had Brian quiz me... and I did really well I think :o) Got into the class and worried some more. I'm really wanting to do well in this class,... I want to know I'm retaining this stuff, and I want us to get paid back for the class as well. Anyhow, I looked through the pages before we actually started, and gasped.... "Panning???" to the girl beside me,... "... did we go over that???" she giggled and smiled and nodded her head yes. "CRAP!" Sigh.

I went through the 40 question test (I'm pretty sure it was 40 problems) some were True/False and others were written and worth 5pts. Yup, you guessed it,... panning was a 5pt question. Great. I had NO idea. I mean,.... I kinda did,... but sure didn't know what the correct answer was. I kept in my head, panning through like a forest or something,.... going from one side to the other.... *sigh* what a dope. Everything else I think I did fairly well. I might not have given the answer exactly as he would have liked, but hopefully it was enough to show that I knew what it meant??? If that makes sence. In any event, there was a gaggle of the class standing in the hall talking about the test. Panning = following your moving subject (more or less) GAH!! I remember going over that now :o( Dangit!!!!! So, yeah, I was for sure 5pts off on that test :o( That so sucks.

I should be in class this morning,.... but today is hubby's Bday and I wanted to be home with him. We went out to dinner with some friends Saturday night and had a wonderful time. Company and food both were really good. Hubby works with the friend, and we used to play World of Warcraft with them online as well. Friend is VERY talented, he can draw/carve/whatever else from memory. I don't have even a pinky fingers worth of his talent. His latest hobby has been scrimshaw He looked at a picture hubby had of Geoffery, and started on a small piece.... he gave it to me Saturday night... I can't even begin to say how amazed I am at this. I had read up on scrimshaw back when hubby told me about what he was doing, and really after reading it and seeing a piece,.... you just have no idea. You don't see the marks in the material, but yet this image is right there!! Just amazing. Anyhow, I wanted to share this today :o)

Pictures!!

I am going to attempt to post the pictures I had tried to post from the last blog entry.... hopefully it will work this time :o)

And the winner is......

Nahh... no winners :o) Just thought I'd say that as this follows the night of the awards dealie last night......

I did get my grades back Monday though!! A perfect score is 50. My "Anything" assignment was of the cat in the bag,... I got a 45/50. Okay.... I lied,... due to it being late, I got a 44 (but what's one point?) I was very pleased with that, as I knew this was the better photo submission.

The picture of the figurine, I got 44/50 and the one of the cat/bookcase 43/50!!! Wow huh??? Yeah, I was pretty darned surprised.

This weeks turn in is supposed to be "Natural Lighting". Well, over the weekend, when the sun actually tried to poke through the clouds, I attempted some trial shots in our yard. However, no matter what I did, the camera was showing "underexposed" on the meter. This didn't make me happy to say the least. What was I doing wrong??? Very frustrating!

Well, Monday morning, I was fiddling with the camera, the lenses etc,... when I was messing with my normal lens, I saw that the aperture wasn't moving inside. This is what needs to move to let the light in (or keep light out) and what would change how the exposure is for outside. Hmm..... it's STUCK????? No WONDER I wasn't getting good readings huh???? Or maybe I am just confused and don't know what the Hell I'm talking about as I've never messed with stuff like this.

I took the camera along with me to class. I popped in and talked to the lab guy Ernie and had him take a look at the lens. He moved things around and confirmed what I didn't want to hear.... it was busted. *SIGH*

After speaking to my instructor, I explained and told him for at least this assignment I would use my digital. I've gotta clean the card though.... as I got to have some fun with my SIL over the weekend and took some nice shots of the kids :)

I am in the process of trying to find a replacement lens for the Canon AE1 now.... found a pretty awesome site for stuff for it. I hope to maybe over time (as I learn more on how to use various lenses) to buy more from there. www.keh.com is the site

Here are a few of the pictures I took (and edited in Photoshop Elements 2.0) over the weekend of the kids :) I think they turned out pretty decent. I had my aperture setting off though, as they all came out too dark.

So, there you have it,.... and much to my surprise, I don't suck that bad with a camera when it comes to assignments. It's easy to snap off a few pics of the kids or cats, but to get to specifics,.... a little more complicated. But, I'm learning...... slowly :o)

Hmmm... for some reason the pictures aren't publishing on here.... I will try again later on :)

Another not so much photographer day....

Tonight I went to my first lab session. This is where you go to upload/scan and whatever else to your photos, put them on the school server for the teacher to view them and then grade them, and then show them to the class so everyone can laugh at you!! Sounds great huh?????

Actually it was VERY interesting!! I was in awe of what simple (yet expensive) software can do for you!!! In this class, we use Photoshop 7.0. I missed the first two classes,.... so I got a crash course in the basics. Unfortunatly no one told me I'd be using an APPLE computer!!!! OMG!!!! I felt so lame,.... made me miss my computer SOOOOO very much!!!! In any event, the two girls beside me, helped me out when I would screw up and close out a window unintentionally and not know where the heck to go to get back to the screen I needed. We had 3 sample pictures,.... pictures that our instructor took. He takes a lot of the sporting photos for the school. This is probably pretty silly to most, but he had this picture of a vollyball game. Looking at the photo, I think "wow that's pretty darned good!" Until he fixes it. The net wasn't even in the photo,..... he showed us how to take something like that, straighten the photo out and ta da, it looks more like the focal point of the whole image!!! WOW!!!!!!! HOLY COW!!!!! So, me, I sit there thinking what pictures can I do that too????? Anxious to get home and play with some photos and all. He showed me a nice little tool in the software that would instantly fix,.... while a lot of programs I've used, have this, for some reason, this was just a lot neater :o) For starters, it brought up this box and showed you exactly what it did,.... how much it raised the greens or reds,.... and if you didn't like the way it looked, you could move those lines in the box yourself. WOW!!!! I love this!!!!!

So, yeah, I got a crash course tonight. I had 3 pictures to do too. My first was my "anything" photo.


I don't have the exact version of photoshop at home, but this is pretty much how the teacher will see it. It was the best of all the pictures I took,.... I'm anxious to see what he thinks of it LOL I mean, yeah, it's just a couple of goofy cats... but still :o) The colors turned out really nice and I was very pleased with it.

Then we move onto my next assignment, which is "Depth of Field". I took some pictures yesterday, last night.... and today. I had them developed at WalMart, One Hour. I quickly learned that I don't know depth of field very well. I sucked pretty badly on the photos. I sat there looking at the pictures the two girls took beside me. Put me to shame. What was worse is that the girl (who was VERY nice and helpful) took photo's of a graveyard,.... some nice stones and all.... grrr... that's what **I** was going to do,.... but I saw it in our book and didn't want to repeat what was already there,.... but DAMN did her stuff look awesome!!!! *mutters under her breath.... bitch* They were really pretty pictures though. The girl to my left, she had some neat ones of this tree with these weird berry things hanging from it,.... the colors were just beautiful. Another was of this archway of vines,.... again, very pretty with the colors and all. I'm sitting there looking at my crap. That's what it was,.... crap. Talk about frustration. Well, I had to pick something right????? This is what I came up with:


This is a picture for "deep" depth of field,.... focus is on the bookcase and not on the cat,.... very sucky picture, but sadly it was the best I had. Even after cropping and such, I still hated it. But, what can you do?????? Well, for starters, spend more time taking pictures!!!!

My next picture, is for "shallow" depth of field,... focus on the figurine and not on the other figures. There was a lot more to the actual picture, but after cropping it and all, I think it turned out really well :o) For some reason, the colors here aren't as nice as what I had at school... but at least you get an idea. Also, on this I used the "burn" tool, around her face and dress area, because things were too bright, it helped to bring out a bit more detail (and the fact that I really should dust more!)



So, there you have it,... my first pieces of work. Eh. I know the more I learn, the better I will become, but I sure hate waiting LOL I want instant stardom!!! Well, okay.... maybe not THAT, but I am hopeful that I will get better :o) LOL Monday I should have grades on all these pictures,... so I will be sure to post the outcome!

Next weeks assignment is: "The subject is natural light" Hmm.... should be interesting enough, so long as we don't have more days like today. LOTS of rain!!

On that note, I'm headed to bed :o) Many thanks to my MIL for keeping the kids tonight so I could attend this lab :o) Am looking forward to the next one already!!!

First Assignment Mishaps....

Well, last week I should've turned in my first assignment,.... the project was "anything" How hard could that be???? I had taken several pictures last week, and had planned to leave early Weds morning to stop at Target, get the film processed and a Starbucks while I waited :o)

Weds morning, I was up and nearly ready for school, I felt pretty crappy with a cold coming on. Still yet, I was anxious to see how my pictures turned out. I was getting kids up and going, and poor Sydney said she didn't feel well. With this kid, generally all you have to do is take one look at her and you know. She always goes ghost white when she's feeling bad. She had a low fever,... her throat, head and stomach hurt. In my head you would've heard... "give her some tylenol and send her to school.... no no, do that and they'll call you in an hour saying I need to pick her up.... but I've got school..... yeah, but you're a mom and your daughter IS sick..." Sigh.... yup.... my little girl IS sick. No way could I send her feeling like she does. With that, I got her some medicine and got the rest of the kids going and took them to school.

Sydney and I spent the day relaxing and I am glad I kept her home because her fever shot up to about 102.6 that afternoon. She slept some, and just felt bad. I checked her throat early that evening and I wondered...... had hubby look when he got home and he confirmed it for me,.... we were pretty sure she had strep. Sigh. Poor baby. I've had that once,.... in fact I was pregant with Sydney. It was the worst kind of pain I've ever felt.

Thursday morning, I checked Sydney's throat again,.... hadn't fully given into the fact that it WAS strep (we're not Doctors of course) but when I looked in her throat, ick,.... I've never seen a throat so red and swollen!!! Yup yup, we'll be going to the Drs this morning. We all got ready, took the other 3 to school and off we went to the Drs. This also meant that I wouldn't be attending my lab to get my pictures turned in for my first assignment. Sigh. I was bummed about it. I made up for it though :o) We got to the Drs, and 10mins after they did a throat culture on Sydney, it came back positive. Sure glad I brought her in. Poor kid. She seemed in good spirits though, the Tylenol was helping the pain pretty good :o) We got her Rx and off we went................. to the MALL :o) LOL

We had a nice time together. With four kids, it's hard to get that one on one time with each one of them without one of the others feeling jelous or hurt. We went to Game Stop as I wanted to find the girls the protective films for their DS's. We were there early so we sat and waited, talked a bit. We were the first into the store, for nothing. They didn't have what we wanted. Figures. Although, we did find that they were getting a shipment of XBox 360's in that day and if their reserved got met, I might could buy us one :o) Hubby has been wanting one since they came out and I had hoped to get one for Christmas I really figured we'd not have a chance on getting one this day. We left there and wandered around looking at stuff. We stopped and had a pretzel and drink and watched the people go by. It was nice,... just Sydney and I :o)

Left the mall and headed to WalMart to pick up some food and other junk,... you know, a donut and chocolate milk for the ride home :o) We love our junk food!!! Especially the chocolate kind!!! I called Game Stop when we were nearly done, and the guy said get here in an hour and we'll fix you up. WOOOHOOO!!!! We left there and headed to Game Stop and yup yup, got a 360!!! I was soooo excited, I just couldn't wait to surprise the hubby :o) He was very pleased that we were finally able to get one too :o)

All in all, it was a wonderful day.... I might have missed my class, my first assignment turn in, but you know, it was so worth missing that to spend that time with my youngest daughter. I know years from now, when she's off in college, I can look back on this day and well, I will probably cry because she's not so little anymore, but just to know that we had days like that.

Anyhow, I will be getting my film developed this week, and will post some of the better pictures.... my assignment for this week is "Depth of Field", in which I have to submit 2 photos.

Yesterday's class was interesting. We went over all the photos that were turned in, and got to critique them and learn a bit on lighting. Seems like each time I go to class, I get more excited about the next one. I'm anxious to see how well I do :o)

Photographer I am NOT

So, Friday night, I was browsing through my books, playing with my cameras,... trying to get familiar with things. I want to really get to know my digital camera in manual mode.... however, I must be really dense. Every picture I took, the screen was just this grey.... I still haven't figured out what I was doing wrong yet. I plan to sit down later with it and figure it out :o)

Saturday, I had loaded up film in the 35mm, took me a few tries as I had totally forgotten how to load a camera manually like this. Insert film strip into guide.... etc etc,.... uhhh yeah.... didn't go so well the first few times. My biggest fear is that I'd advance the film too far and expose the film before ever getting to close the door LOL Finally I got it loaded properly!! Time to take some pictures. Sydney was kind enough to help out and blew some bubbles for the cats, which proved to be great subjects for my first "anything" assignment. It was just a roll of 12exp, as I don't know how well this camera works yet at all. We've not used it once since we got it. Finished that roll quick fast. Attempted to advance the film again to make sure though....

Sat down to rewind it,.... manually..... push this button here,... pull this lever up here... and wind away.... hmm.... didn't feel right.... kept winding.... didn't hear anything either....Hmmm...... ????..... opened it up.... in hopes of finding the film all curled up inside it's little canister, but much to my dismay, it was curled around the little guide thing,.... completely.... I think when I had advanced it again to make sure it was through, it pulled right out of the canister???? GAH!!!! So much for that roll :o( How disappointing is that??? I mean,... if I can't even load/rewind film, what kind of photographer am I going to make? LOL Ahh the age of electronics,... makes everyone stupid when you've gotta do things the "old fashioned" way!!!

I bought more film Sunday night, in hopes of trying again. I've already loaded it up, and have taken a few pictures of yes,... the cats... and even the kids let me indulge and take some of them :o) I have an attachment for the camera that rewinds for you automatically,.... I've already attached it to the camera LOL I don't want to mess up this time. My assignment is due by Thursday night for Friday morning grading!!! I can't wait to see how I do!!

Stupid Meters......

Went to class again today.... I left early as I had errands to run at the school. Turn in a form, get my student ID and get my books. So, I thought I'd drive to where the Admin building is, park there and head back to my class. My hope was that I'd be early enough to get a decent parking place near my class building.

So, I drove all over around the Admin building with no luck of finding a parking place. I drove around another area that was fairly close.... no luck.... gave up and decided it was still early enough, I could walk from where my building is,... drove around that lot and another lot a few times,... no luck,... I gave up. I parked in a metered spot. 2hr limit, 5c for 3mins. (Remember that $50.00 parking permit I paid for?????????) Sigh. I fed that darned meter enough to get me 1hr 50min. Off I went. The Admin building was a good hike from where I was. Was glad to get that done and over with though.... you should see all the places that give discounts for students!! I can't wait to abuse I mean, take advantage of all of that :o) So, I ask,... "Where is the nearest book store??" She told me the building.... I looked on my map... yeah, I'm sure I really looked like a dork today,... wandering around aimlessly with my map in hand.... and of course the building was on the OTHER side of where I was.... and even further from my class building. SIGH. Someone wants me to get some exercise huh??? I headed over there..... maybe I'll get used to all this walking :) Not like I don't need it,... so damn outta shape LOL

I wandered through the shop.... JOUR books,... sounds like what I need..... but I wasn't finding the one I thought I needed. Had to get help. Dork. The lady was very nice,.... and pointed out that it's a fairly new book, so she didn't think they had used. *groan* $40.00 for this book. Sigh. Okay..... got book in hand and got the heck outta there and headed towards my building.

Today we were to bring in our camera(s) so we could mess with them, and ask questions if we had any. The whole class period was spent going over the innards of a camera, and what each part does. Was interesting enough.... then at the last 2mins of class, he says we can pull out our cameras and take a look and what not. Uhh... yeah. Everyone got up and left LOL Oh well.

I do look forward to sitting down and going through the book and see if I can kinda learn something new before next class. One thing that he pointed out today and something I have often thought myself, is that using a camera in manual, you really have to know what you're doing.... I mean, if you're going to do pictures for someone's wedding, it needs to be like instinct to know how to set your camera up for the shot,.... you can't waste time fumbling.... I sure hope that by the time I'm done with this class that I will have that instinct. I plan to really play with the cameras this weekend and see what I can do :)

Well, kids are hungry.... just doing mac n cheese tonight. The SHELLS and cheese mind you..... for that is MUCH cheesier LOL

Back to school

Year before last, my husband bought me a super nice digital camera.... a Canon 35mm SLR. I just love the thing. Problem is, I'm such a moron that I'm too scared to take it out of automatic. It's always easier when it does it all for you right??? Why risk taking a crappy picture when you don't have to???? My real problem is that I don't understand all the photographer lingo.... aperature??? did I even spell that right?? LOL I know there's much more, but again, CLUELESS!!!! I was determined to find some sort of class to take that would teach me the great things about photography. Wouldn't it be cool to be the next Ansel Adams or something??? LOL Well, after much searching, I was coming up with nothing.

So, one day late last year,.... I did more digging, and found through the university that they had a photojournalism class. Hmm... wonder if this is what I would be looking for??? I put a call into the teacher, and spoke with him all about it. This was probably in October. After his talk, I was pretty pumped up about the class, sounded EXACTLY what I was looking for. He said he thought the class was about $300.00. Eh, not bad I guess. I was very anxious about doing this, and couldn't wait to get started.

I made some calls, and found out I needed my shot record... or at least a record of having had 2 MMR shots. HUH??? I'm nearly 37yrs old!!! SHOT RECORD? LOL Yeah right. I grew up in CA and had NO idea where to start. Mom got our shots done at the Health Dept, I called all over with no luck. I worried that this would interfere with my getting into the spring time class,.... it was getting close by this time for registering and such. Thankfully I found out that there was a clinic on campus that I could get my shot done for free!! Yay!!!!

One day in Dec I headed to the campus,.... keep in mind, I graduated in 1987 from High School and took a whole semester of Jr College the year after that, I was pretty nervous. I've never been on a University campus before. It was huge. I parked in the wrong spot and had quite the hike to the registration office. The clinic was convieintly located at the OTHER end of the campus,.... drove over there and back again (found the closer parking this time) and got everything set.... and the shot cost $5.00, can't beat that I suppose huh??? I needed to wait about a couple days to get into the system then I would be able to enroll in the course I wanted. I left there feeling very excited!!! I couldn't wait. I also stopped in and got my parking permit,..... you know that darned thing costs $50.00!!!! Sheesh. I was going to pay for it then, but no no, it will be put on your registration bill or whatever the heck it is.... ahhh... okay.... works I guess... so at this point I'm thinking about $350.00 now right????

I'm all set!!! I think...... as Christmas draws closer,... I get a letter stating that I still need another MMR shot.... well dang, they had told me I'd be okay with just the one. I KNOW I had one at least as a kid! I couldn't call until after the holidays, and class was to start Jan 9th!!! I wasn't even enrolled in a class yet either!! I was getting worried again that I'd not make it.

Well,... finally after talking to a few people after New Years, I found that so long as I get the second shot done, I'd be fine..... and that I could get enrolled now and did just that over the phone!! I was all set for my first class,.... and it was only like 4 days away!!!! Wow, talk about cutting it close huh???

Mon. Jan. 9th!!! I was fairly nervous that morning. Something so new and exciting for me. I was up and ready to go in no time!! I got there in plenty of time and even had an easy time finding where the building was (using the map of course) but my 30mins being early was spoiled due to driving around the lot a few dozen times trying to find a place to park!!! Did I mention that it costs $50.00 for the permit??? You'd think I'd have a place to park for that huh??? However, such was NOT going to be the case. I found a spot acrossed the street aways,.... worked just fine. I got into class with about 10mins to spare. I entered the small room, with like 30 chairs and 3 other students sitting there waiting. They were SOOO young.... I felt so old LOL I found a desk and sat down and waited nervously. While sitting there I overheard a girl talking about her courses,... one of which was horseback riding!!! WHAT???? A CLASS FOR HORSEBACK RIDING???? NO WAY!!!!! I totally want to do that :o)

The room filled slowly,.... I think by the time the teacher walked in, there were maybe 6 desks open??? I also saw that I was the only one who brought their camera,..... dork. He took roll,... I'm not sure where he is from, but he has an accent, and assured us his feelings would not be hurt if we had to ask him to repeat anything. He passed out the class syllabus, which we spent the rest of the class time reading over. He even picked on individuals to read the paragraphs. I found this amusing. Didn't we outgrow that in grade school???? I learned that I did need to enroll for the lab,... this would be how we would submit our work. I really hoped that I'd need not take it, as the hours conflict with being a mom/wife!! I spoke with the teacher at the end of class who directed me to the lab instructor. I really thought, why not get the software, do what needed to be done, and upload the picture to the school server???? Sounds easy enough. Well, apparently the school's server is to its own,.... outsiders can't get in????? Maybe it's me, but that seems odd. So, now to figure out how to work this out. Seemed pointless to take the class and not turn in work ya know?? Even if the plan was to audit the course.

So, yes, that was day one. It went fairly well I thought. I was pretty excited about the upcoming projects, and even pretty curious about how the lab worked. Just the matter of figuring out how to make the lab work for us. Hubby and I talked and figured we would just try and work around it some how.

Wed. Jan 11th 2nd class.... that morning, I made some calls,.... got enrolled for the lab and talked to a girl who was going to help me out with the payment deal. I had no clue at this time how much I was going to have to pay for these classes. I knew that the lab wasn't much, I thought it was around $20.00. I didn't have my student ID or anything,..... I knew nothing. Such a noob. She gave me my student ID number, and showed me around online how to view all my information. Would you believe that the lab is only $10.00??? Not bad huh??? Makes up for the $612.00 for all the OTHER CRAP!!! The photography class is like $424.00 and then they throw in all these other fees,...... it's almost like looking at your phone bill. What is this for??? and this???? she tells me how I can get into the games free as a student.... well, great, only I hate football, and basketball..... we have a great gym here as well.... eh,... that might be something I would consider doing for about 5mins.... really, it was pretty silly. Oh and don't forget that $50.00 parking permit too!!! Sheesh. You could say that my bubble was burst then. How could we possibly do this????? Then she told me they do have a pymt option. Ohh???? This sounded good!! She explained and it sounded doable. I was ready to head to class,.... poked my head into the bedroom where hubby was sleeping, to let him know I was headed out. I said "You remember how I thought the class was going to be about $300.00??" "yeah,.... it's more?" "yeah" "how much more??" "a lot.... but we'll talk about it when I get home" Nice of me huh???? At this point, I figured, hey, I've not paid anything yet..... if we need to wait on the class, so be it. Kinda throws the horseback riding class out the window though doesn't it????

This session was basically the history of photography. I took a few notes,.... listened along. He told us that next Weds we needed to bring in our cameras and we would look them over and ask questions or whatever. Cool. I was smarter this time, and didn't bring mine with me. I spoke with the lab guy again,... he said that if I can't make the lab time that I registered for, I could attend one of the other times, NO problem. That was very reassuring. I was a bit worried about that.

Got home and talked to hubby about everything. The pymt deal was cool... but we talked more about other options. The girl I spoke with mentioned a Pell Grant, but we both felt sure that that couldn't happen. I remembered that his company had some sort of deal, but had no clue how that worked. He said he would look into it. The next day he talked with one girl, who was sure all you had to do was fill out a paper and provide your grade/receipts and you get reimbursed. Hmmm..... he tried to get in touch with the girl that actually handled that part of it all, but I guess she was out of the office that day.

Today I called,.... as I have class tomorrow and want to know what the heck we're gonna do. That's exactly how it works, only I've gotta have a 2.0+ gpa. That's rough LOL So, looks like I'm going to school LOL We talked about maybe an Assoc. in Photojournalism,.... but we'll see. Right now this class should hold everything I want to know. I would really love to feel confident in taking good pictures of other peoples kids or couples or whatever. One day having a nice studio??? Never can tell right???? Anyhow, my plan is to blog about this class,.... it's a 3mo long class,... with 10 assignments. I will post the photo's that I submit to the teacher and even share with you his grade/comments (if there are any?) Exciting stuff huh???

Well, my first post was much wittier,... which for me is rare,.... but blogger ate it or something :( I will never learn to cut/copy before I try and publish/send something :( Sigh.

What does your birthdate mean??

I got this dealie from over at Fizzy's blog, I thought it was cute, especially about what it said about my having a mind like an artist, even if I haven't developed it yet :o) I think that's pretty true!!! I will explain further in the next post.

I had meant to post this the day of my Bday.... forgot of course LOL *published to blog on Feb. 2nd*

Your Birthdate: January 29

You have the mind of an artist, even if you haven't developed the talent yet. Expressive and aware, you enjoy finding new ways to share your feelings. You often feel like you don't fit in - especially in traditional environments. You have big dreams. The problem is putting those dreams into action. Your strength: Your vivid imagination Your weakness: Fear of failure Your power color: Coral Your power symbol: Oval Your power month: November

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

Happy Holidays!

Yeah, it's been awhile huh? I never was any good with a journal LOL

Can you believe it's 2006?? Wow. I sure can't. Just feel like the year has flown by. All said and done, it's been a pretty good year. Full of the usual ups n downs, but I would like to think many more up's than downs :o) That's a good thing in my book.

Thanksgiving was really nice, went to DH's folks for food.... we eat early there, then come home and fix our own dinner, so we were plenty stuffed by the end of the day :o)

This Christmas oldest DD and DS went to their dads. I really hate when they're gone for Christmas. I can handle Thanksgiving, but Christmas just makes me feel lost without all my kids here. We did most of our shopping earlier than usual this year, so that did help. We had stuff on layaway and got it out before Christmas week!! That's like rare for us. Last few years it's been day before Christmas shopping.... well, close to that anyhow LOL I was very pleased. Plus, I found a lot of the things that youngest DD wanted, they were on the top of her list! Yup, was going to be a great Christmas for them!! Youngest DS is easy to buy for :o) Videogames, Spiderman, Pokemon.... easy easy. Inspite of oldest 2 being gone, this Christmas was really great. The fact that youngest DS was soooo into it all, just made it that much better. Both kids were thrilled with everything they got. Was a great day.

Best part was that DH was off for the next 4 days after Christmas. His schedule just landed like this, so it didn't cut into vacation days or anything. We spent the time lounging really hard :o) He got me a Nintendo DS with a ton of games, and I was totally absorbed in playing with it :o) We watched movies, slept in.... it was just wonderful. Sure hated to have it end.

New Years, I spent wrapping presents for when the older 2 return, as we do Christmas again when they get home. I had teased DH that maybe if he could sneak away at midnight he could call me :o) Yeah, it was hopeful thinking really..... and he made sure I knew that full well. His new job doesn't really allow for phone breaks like that. However,.... while I sat there wrapping, tv on watching Dick Clark do the countdown.... the phone rang right about midnight :o) This was the first New Years we were apart in the 8yrs of marriage. I was pretty sad about that,.... and when he called, it sure made me feel great :o) Just really made my whole night.

I teased him a few nights ago, as he was watching wrestling,.... he made a comment about one of the girls on the show he likes, something about her being his "diva" so I said "I thought Iwas your diva???" He had bought me my favorite coffee's early that morning,.... and reminded me that he did that special :o) Yeah, he bought my favorite morning drinks,.... but you know, that midnight phone call was more special than any coffee he could've bought.... Yup... I AM his #1 Diva :o)

Honey, if you ever find time and sit and read this,.... I love you with all my heart.

Look what I did!!

I love mermaids, and I love dolphins. I've got a pendant that I thought, wow, if I could draw this out nice, it would be a great tattoo. I can draw a decent dolphin, but my mermaids suck.

I had to dig through some old papers to find the exact date,.... but sometime in 1999, I found an artist who drew some awesome mermaids.... Jack Henslee. I emailed him, and told him what I was hoping to have done, and if he would consider doing it for me.... I drew up a sketch, and emailed it to him. Days later, he replied with this image for me... I was so impressed, and excited!! I couldn't wait to see about having this done up as a tattoo. Obviously, it sat for a good while! But it was never forgotten. It would get done eventually! There were times we'd discuss going, and I'd be very nervous.... too nervous to consider doing it almost.

This year we were looking online at some tattoo art, as hubby wanted to get another soon... and I dug out my mermaid/dolphin drawing yet again. Through a friend, we found an artist that might make this tattoo doable, and he said with some minor changes, he could do this. So, last night, we drove down to Underground Art and Jake hooked me up! He did some minor revisions and added a bit of flare to the mermaid and dolphin and the end result after a good 2hrs of work this is the final product

It is far prettier than I could've imagined it ever being, I'm so totally impressed. I sit and look at the picture and think "Wow!! That's on ME!!" LOL To me, it's not just a "tattoo" it's real ART. He did a terrific job!!! Best part is that it wasn't near as painful as I thought it might be, so I would totally consider getting another one!! :o)

Some Pictures....

Jessica's 11th Birthday Party at the bowling alley
Brian being the helpful brother with Geoffery
Geoffery LOVES to bowl!!
Sydney bowled a GREAT game!!
Three of the kids, by this time Brian had hit the videogames!

The picture of Jess on her Birthday post, is from when we went to a Pioneer Village, for her class trip. It was a lot of fun and we learned a lot of neat things. Like how kids would have to bring a piece of coal to school in the winter months, and if you didn't bring yours, you sat in the back of the room LOL We got to watch them make FRESH "sorgum".... well, the whole process was interesting.... and it smelled terrible!! I assured her that it COULDN'T taste as bad as it smelled. Okay.... I lied. But honestly, I had NO idea. That stuff was NASTY!!!! As you could see from her photo :o)

Her party was a lot of fun, she had 3 of her best girlfriends make it, and they had a great time bowling, enjoying the cake/icecream and later some videogames :o)

Happy Birthday Jessica

Yup, Jessica is 11 today. Hard to believe that 11yrs ago I was holding my first baby girl. A troubled pregnancy early on, nothing that terrible, but constantly monitored incase of any true problems.... and here she was. This tiny bundle of joy. I couldn't believe I had a baby girl!! My sweet Jessica Lynn. She has grown up into a beautiful young lady. She is very helpful, considerate, and generous. She's a parents dream. Okay, enough sugar coating? LOL Nahh.... I'm not, I'm very serious. She's a great kid. I guess we're very lucky, as all our kids are really well behaved, smart, and polite. Jessica is all of the above and more and this is HER day today.

Saturday we had her party at the Bowling Alley... she had 3 good girlfriends show up and we had a blast watching the kids all bowl. They played some video games and goofed around, ate and had cake/icecream.... it was really a nice time for all the family and friends that attended.

She got some wonderful gifts, and even a little spending money that is burning a hole in her pocket :o)

We took some great pics from the party, I hope to post a few here later on today or this week.

On a side note.... I found this pretty amusing. The girls were supposed to be getting their room cleaned (hey, they're not PERFECT kids!!) and it wasn't getting very far. I reminded Jess that they get out early Tuesday, that we could make a trip to the NEW Target and she could spend her money... Sydney questions this, what does she need to spend money for??? It's her Birthday money I reminded her,... she wants to buy something. So, I thought a minute,... "if you get in and help out really good, I'm sure I could give you a little bit to spend too" "Nah, I don't need to spend any money" ???? She's 7. Smart lil thing. She totally shrugged it off like Bah cleaning!! I don't need anything THAT bad. I then reminded her that she had some money from the toothfairy.... she could spend that.... and she reminded ME that she was SAVING this money.... "so I can buy a car when I'm older" :o)

8 Years and Counting....

My Dearest Husband,

Eight years ago today, we said "I do". Does it still feel like yesterday to you?? Each year as our Anniversary draws closer, I find myself thinking back to how we met, when we met and how anxious I was to chat with you each day. You were witty, and smart. You didn't care what anyone thought, you were yourself no matter what. I really liked and admired you for that. Those are qualities that I still like and admire in you, amongst the many others that I've learned over the years.

There's no question that we've had our fair share of ups and downs these last 8 years, but I really do love to look at where we're at today. I've never felt closer to anyone in my whole life. I like to think about where we'll be in another 8 years and how much closer we'll be to each other, if that's even possible??

These last eight years have given me so much. A wonderful husband, with a strong marriage. Our children are happy and healthy. We have never wanted or needed for much and if we did, you always made sure we had a way to get it. Our days might seem hectic, but I always look forward to you returning home from work. I enjoy our evenings watching tv and relaxing. I enjoy watching movies or playing video games together. More than anything, I just want to be near you always.

When we curl up in bed at night, and your body is up against mine, there is no greater feeling of security and love. Your strong arms around me as I drift off to sleep, I know will bring another day where I can kiss you good bye in the morning and anxiously await your return at the end of the day.

I am so glad that we met online all those years ago, so grateful that we were strong enough to endure the harder times in our relationship, and so proud to have you as my husband.

I love you with all that I am Sweetheart, Happy Anniversary!

September 11, 2001

110 stories high I flapped freely
In the bright sky. While birds and planes
Soared on by, my majestic power
Couldn't be denied.

On a fateful September morn, my
Strength was tested, like a toothpick
My mast did break, falling to earth
With such a quake.

Rubble and dust all around,
Shouts of terror, cries of pain
Still sound through this dismal surround.

This act of injustice, this feat so cruel,
My people are grieving, my children confused.

As if by rebirth, I'm pulled from
The ash, stood on the ground
Amongst those I love.

Here we go again!

So, the older two kids are home from their summer with their dad. They seemed to have a good time there. Nothing too exciting happened I guess. They got home Aug. 6th and started school Aug. 19th. One in 9th, one in 5th one in 2nd and lastly, one in kindergarten. Sigh. Friday 19th, was just a 15min day for Geoffery with kindergarten. Go meet the teacher, look at the room, hand over supplies and junk and go home. He was pissed. I was pleased to see how into it he seemed. I worried about how Monday would go though, when I would actually leave him there.

Weekend came and went, did some last minute school clothes shopping for the kids, was peeved over how it's 108 degrees here, and they're stocking Fall stuff already. Get a clue huh??? You'd think they'd kinda leave shorts out when our weather is like this??? Most of it was picked over too. We found several cute things for the girls though. I also noticed how there was a lot of husky items to choose from for boys..... but was amazed at the new husky for girls!!! America's kids are getting fatter, that's for sure. Our school this year has even taken away the "candy cart". Monday, Weds, and Fri they would have a cart that would come around at last recess, and for under 1.00 a kid can pick some fun candies..... was always a special thing to give the kids 50c for this every once in awhile. Well,... due to nutrition and health no more candy cart.

Anyhow, so came Monday, and Geoffery did great :o) I wasn't even sure he realized I'd actually left him there. He was excited, he'd seen some friends from Headstart in the hallway, all the kids in his room were new, he was just sitting there taking it all in. When I returned later that day to pick the kids up, I was anxious to see how he was. I worried about him being able to poke the straw into his drink at lunch, I worried that he wouldn't know what to do at lunch time,... just silly stuff like that. He's the baby, and we had already worried about whether we should send him or not,..... is he REALLY ready for this????? Well.... he came down the hall, all the kids in a line (they go to the cafeteria to meet moms/dads after school) pulling his backpack behind him, kinda looking down..... he looked up and saw me and his face just LIT up.... *sigh* "MOMMY!!!" and he ran to me. I wanted to cry :o) Ohh... didn't cry when I left him that morning though LOL I scooped him up and squeezed him and kissed him and asked how his day was, it was good he said. "Can I do kindergarten again????" He asked. *sniff* "Yes, you sure can!" So, I would say day one was a success!!! Later he had asked me "Did you go home???" "Yup" "Did you look for me???" *giggle* "I sure did,... I missed you soooo much!! but I'm glad that you had so much fun in kindergarten today" He's so sweet.

However, we got home, and I find that he'd not eaten his lunch!!??!!?? Did he not know what to do????? Did he just sit there with his lunch bag in front of him and not understand??? What happened???? "Geoffery.... how come you didn't eat your lunch??" in his little words I figured out that he ate PIZZA!!! HUH???? "YOU ate pizza???" "yeah" "was it good??" "yeah" "did you eat it all gone??" "no" LOL This child, all he eats: cereal, pb&j, pb&honey, spaghetti, bacon, sometimes eggs.... waffles and pancakes. That's seriously about IT. He ate pizza??? hahahaha!! Yeah right LOL

Tuesday morning I asked his teacher, and she said yes, he did eat some of it. Wow!!! She asked if that was alright,.... the kids had sat down to eat, and he and a few others saw kids who bought their lunches and they wanted that too.... "Hey, if he eat it, I don't have a problem with it at all!!" LOL He did great Tuesday morning too. Dropped him off, got my hugs and kisses and walked out. Wow!! Maybe this was going to go well????? I sure hoped so. Again, he was happy to see me later that day, and told me he ate a hamburger for lunch LOL Uh huh suuuuurreee.... and again "Did you go home??" "yup" "Did you look for me??" "I did, but you were at school weren't you??" "yup" :o)

I am amazed at times at how different each child is. I mean, when you have just one, you have nothing to compare to,... when you have 2 you can say stuff like ohhh he's laid back, she's very active.... just seems "normal" but when you keep adding on, you expect some things to be alike I guess. From day one, Brian the oldest was always a mellow kid,.... he was self sufficient, kept himself occupied for hours, he was bright, learned things very fast. I thought I had it made once he could walk and talk. I was so proud, and thought "Damn, I'm a great mom!!" I mean, obviously it was my doing that made him who he was right???? Granted he's really sensitive, although, I think he's gotten a bit better about that now. He's still a laid back kid at 14yrs old.

Jessica, 2nd born. I was thrilled to have a daughter. She was always fairly quiet, curious, felt she needed to be played with all the time, really took more attention with her. I guess when I think about it now, she loves to be center of attention, I figure she'll want to run off to NY and try out for broadway shows when she gets older :o) LOL She's smart, sensitive, outgoing, beautiful, so friendly.... she really a good girl.

Sydney, 3rd born. OMG. For the first I don't know how many months, she was screaming,... it wasn't colic I don't think,.... maybe it was..... I can't remember,... or I've blocked it out. I know we tried those drops for gas and other things. She was just spoiled I guess. Pick her up and the screaming would stop. Being stay at home mom, she clung to me. I couldn't go to the bathroom without her in tow. I couldn't go or do anything without either taking her or hearing her scream as I left her. Phew. But smart!! Wow, she was reading letters off of blocks really early on, she was singing nursery rhymes really early on too. I loved when she would do that while we were shopping,.... sweetest voice singing those songs, would always draw attention from other shoppers who would stop and talk to her and tell me how sweet and pretty she was. Today, she's NOT outgoing like her sister, but she's never been that way. She tends to be a lot more shy. Even with family she would shy away when they would talk to her,.... if she is forced to reply, she would do so with a mutter and scamper off. She is also equally as smart as her older brother and sister, and it shows in her work. She's more sensitive than her older siblings too. Look at her with a "look" and she will cry. She is beautiful, and very loving.

Then we have Geoffery.... I really can't think of a bad time with him as a baby. He is mommy's boy still I think. He never liked being left anywhere. Followed me to the bathroom, that sort of thing. But after Sydney, I was quite used to it. We were concerned about him as he got older as he wasn't talking much, but the Dr reassured us that some boys are like this. Takes time for the brain to collect all the info and process it etc etc..... Slowly he did start to talk, but mostly we couldn't understand him. We worried about his hearing and had it checked. It all came back fine. So, we waited. He was so smart, counting to 20 well before starting preschool, knew his colors and abc's, he knew songs too. Very smart!!
He went through Headstart (preschool) all last year, and he gradually improved with his talking, and we were amazed at how well he was doing. To me, at times it seemed like over night success. Headstart was a time though..... I think in the full school year he attended, maybe 2wks of that time he didn't cry when I left him. So, now we start Kindergarten. We questioned his maturity for this,.... but we're trying it out. After Monday and Tuesday being so wonderful, dropping him off and him being happy to be there,..... here we go again...... flashbacks from Headstart. He didn't want to go inside his room, didn't want to pick his milk for snack, and DID NOT want me to leave him. He clung to my legs while his teacher pryed him off and I raced out the door. *SIGH* All I can say now is, better luck tomorrow??? But I'm not going to hold my breath. For the record,... he didn't eat the hamburger, but he did eat a few fries,.... that's progress!!!! :)

Seamstress

ONE DAY, WHEN A SEAMSTRESS WAS SEWING WHILE SITTING CLOSE TO A RIVER,
HER THIMBLE FELL INTO THE RIVER. WHEN SHE CRIED OUT, THE LORD APPEARED
AND ASKED, "MY DEAR CHILD, WHY ARE YOU CRYING?"

THE SEAMSTRESS REPLIED THAT HER THIMBLE HAD FALLEN INTO THE WATER AND
THAT SHE NEEDED IT TO HELP HER HUSBAND IN MAKING A LIVING FOR THEIR
FAMILY.

THE LORD DIPPED HIS HAND INTO THE WATER AND PULLED UP A GOLDEN THIMBLE
SET WITH PEARLS. "IS THIS YOUR THIMBLE?" THE LORD ASKED.

THE SEAMSTRESS REPLIED, "NO."

THE LORD AGAIN DIPPED INTO THE RIVER. HE HELD OUT A SILVER THIMBLE
RINGED WITH SAPPHIRES. "IS THIS YOUR THIMBLE?" THE LORD ASKED.

AGAIN, THE SEAMSTRESS REPLIED, "NO."

THE LORD REACHED DOWN AGAIN AND CAME UP WITH A LEATHER THIMBLE. "IS
THIS YOUR THIMBLE?" THE LORD ASKED.

THE SEAMSTRESS REPLIED, "YES."

THE LORD WAS PLEASED WITH THE WOMAN'S HONESTY AND GAVE HER ALL THREE
THIMBLES T O KEEP, AND THE SEAMSTRESS WENT HOME HAPPY.

SOME YEARS LATER, THE SEAMSTRESS WAS WALKING WITH HER HUSBAND ALONG THE
RIVERBANK, AND HER HUSBAND FELL INTO THE RIVER AND DISAPPEARED UNDER THE
WATER. WHEN SHE CRIED OUT, THE LORD AGAIN APPEARED AND ASKED HER, "WHY
ARE YOU CRYING?"

"OH LORD, MY HUSBAND HAS FALLEN INTO THE RIVER!"

THE LORD WENT DOWN INTO THE WATER AND CAME UP WITH MEL GIBSON. "IS THIS
YOUR HUSBAND?" THE LORD ASKED.

"YES," CRIED THE SEAMSTRESS

THE LORD WAS FURIOUS. "YOU LIED! THAT IS AN UNTRUTH!"

THE SEAMSTRESS REPLIED, "OH, FORGIVE ME, MY LORD. IT IS A
MISUNDERSTANDING. YOU SEE, IF I HAD SAID 'NO' TO MEL GIBSON, YOU WOULD
HAVE COME UP WITH TOM CRUISE. THEN IF I SAID 'NO' TO HIM, YOU WOULD
HAVE COME UP WITH MY HUSBAND. HAD I THEN SAID 'YES,' YOU WOULD HAVE
GIVEN ME ALL THREE. LORD, I'M NOT IN THE BEST OF HEALTH AND WOULD NOT
BE ABLE TO TAKE CARE OF ALL THREE HUSBANDS, SO THAT'S WHY I SAID 'YES'
TO MEL GIBSON."

THE MORAL OF THIS STORY IS: - WHENEVER A WOMAN LIES, IT'S FOR A GOOD
AND HONORABLE REASON, AND IN THE BEST INTEREST OF OTHERS.

THAT'S OUR STORY, AND WE'RE STICKING TO IT.

(My Mom sent me this, thought it was really cute and had to share)

My time in the service.....

Nah, not really.... I wasn't IN the service, but I was like >this< close to joining. I was kinda thinkin about this last night, thought it might be something good to blog about.

I wasn't yet out of High School,.... we had a career day where they filled the gym up with various booths of people who would love to see you join their career. Of course we had the "Be All You Can Be" booth. We took cards and pamphlets.... talked to the people,... it was all very interesting. Some reason that was the only booth I can recall, maybe nothing else just stuck out??? I dunno.

Anyhow, eventually I gave the number a call. My Dad was in the Army.... I could do that. I could learn something worthwhile without the college time right??? Might be a great idea.

I spoke with a recruiter, who picked me up and took me to Burger King where we could talk. He told me I needed to take a test, get a physical all this great fun stuff. Okay,... lets do it I said. So, I believe it was a couple Saturday's later, my poor mom in tears "My baby's going into the Army...." I headed out with him and a couple others to go test and junk.

Pretty sure the testing was first,.... I don't think they wanted to scare you away with the physical part first! From what I recall, I did really well on the test. It tested you in various areas, and in the end told you where you did the best, be it mechanics, or whatever. It's been too long, I can't tell you what I did best in, but I do remember the recruiter later telling me I could have any job I wanted. Cool!!

Then the physical,.... first was the hearing test,... that was so strange. You're in this sound proof room with probably 8 other people wearing headphones. You hear a beep,.. but it sounds so far away..... so you're looking at the people around you thinking it's their headset you're hearing... not your own... so for probably the first few beeps,... I didn't hit the button LOL I wonder if they thought I was oddly deaf?? LOL To a waiting room,.... had to give blood next. I found I was in a big room, and nothing but guys. Talk about feeling VERY uncomfortable. Gave my blood and got out of there,.... for the wonderful physical. I guess I was 18,... and yes,... still a virgin. When the Dr asked me all this,.... he said "Okay we'll not do the vaginal exam, we'll do rectal instead" GAH!!! What??? I've never had anyone probe any part of me like that!!! Talk about embarrassing. I wanted to run away about then.

Finally it was all over with. I had to wait for all the physical results to come back or something,... but was given a book to look through for all the various jobs available to me. My mind was made up,... I wanted to be an MP. (Military Police) I wanted to have my own dog and patrol with it. How cool would that be I thought!!! Yup yup, that's what I wanted to do,... then when I got out of the Army, I could use those skills and be a cop later on!!! Perfect sounding job to me.

So, results came back fine, and the recruiter was more than happy to have me sign the line!!! Sign my life away pretty much..... he asked what job I'd found. Told him MP,... "why?" "I want a dog" LOL I explained myself,.... and he said he was very sorry, but I wasn't tall enough. HUH???? Yeah, I'm a whole 5ft 2inches tall, so??? What the Hell does that have to do with being an MP and having a dog????? "You wouldn't be able to control the dog" Ooooooo. You just don't tell me how I wouldn't be able to DO something. I told him that was the lamest thing I'd ever heard of. If I raise the dog, and train the dog, I can control the dog, size means NOTHING. I got up and walked out and never signed any line.

Later on,.... after I'd graduated, I still had that book, had my test scores, was looking through it,.... and wonder if maybe I should've changed my mind and maybe done something like Occupational Therapy??? What a career that could've been for me later on huh??? Oh well..... FAR too late to do something like that now.

But I do wonder from time to time,...... could I have protested claiming SIZE discrimination???? Hmm........

Deep Thoughts....

Last night, DH and I were watching our favorite show West Wing We have the box sets and we just finished watching the last disc of season 4. Sigh. Not sure when season 5 is due out, but when it is, I'll be all over it. I hate being left hanging. But it made me think.... about getting older, having kids, the kids growing up and such. It wasn't just West Wing that had me thinking,.... I think the fact that our baby is starting Kindergarten come August has kind of started it,.... the bombings in London didn't help either. Just so much going on right now I guess.

Yes, our youngest starts Kindergarten next month. I'm excited for him, and worried about him at the same time. He's a smart kid, but there are times when we worried a great deal about him, his speech and such. Still times when I don't think he fully understands the things we tell him. He doesn't seem to grasp things very well. Other times, I think maybe I am just babying him too much and I'm not wanting to see the big picture?? I don't know, I just know that he's our baby, and he's starting REAL school. No turning back. No more babies in our family. The kids are growing up. We're growing older. I don't think I like any of that.

The bombings in London,.... not just once but twice??? It makes me scared for the world. Last night we heard more on CNN about the bombings in Egypt as well. What are things coming to?? So many killed and injured. I realize things could've been much worse as far as casualties, but it doesn't change the fact that these people are all over and scaring the crap out of everyone. Not just those in England, but all over..... to me, it's like Sept. 11th all over again. "where were you when you heard about....." That will be the questions I figure my Grandkids will ask,.... will even be questions my younger kids will ask.

Then last night, West Wing,.... the last couple of episodes. One guy Toby was due to be a father of twins, his concern was that he wouldn't love his kids like other fathers love their children. What an odd thought to have as an expected parent I thought. I thought maybe it's more of a fear of loving something especially a little life,... or lives in his case that scared him so much?? I can honestly say as a mother, I never had that worry. With my first, I was scared to pick him up, he was so tiny I thought I would break him or drop him. With all the kids, I would cuddle them close and just think "wow,... this little life came out of me" Birth is amazing,.... and children are wonderful. I look back on my first born,... my first birth,... and think, "you know,... when I decided to have kids, I never considered them to grow up, to become preteens, or teens or eventually to move out and get a ton of body piercings" I didn't sign on for that part of being a parent. They're supposed to stay little always. Which brings me to the other part of the story from West Wing. The President's youngest daughter is abducted. She's in her early 20's just graduated from college.... could you even imagine?? President or not, your kid is taken from you, that safety net is gone. You can't do anything but wait and watch what's going on around you and pray that your child will return to you safely.

After all of that,.... I couldn't help but think of our kids. How fortunate I am to be a stay at home mom, how I am with them 24/7 and watch them grow, and help them on their way. How I see my husband who is working terribly hard to give me the opportunity to do so, go down the hall and spend a good hour with the kids playing video games because he knows that the next 4 nights are gonna be rough, and he won't see the kids much at all after he starts work tonight. Do I take them for granted?? Do I take for granted that they're so healthy,.... that they're smart and happy???? Do I take for granted that we live in a small town, and safety has never seemed an issue?? When I quietly go into their room at night, shut the tv off and cover them up, am I taking for granted that I can do that every evening??? These are my kids. I don't think I could love them anymore than I already do. I think the fact that I don't want them to grow up, shows I don't take them for granted,.... because once they leave the house, I can't protect them anymore. I want them to have a sheltered life, to be mommy's babies,.... yes, even the 14yr old LOL It's just times like these, when you reflect on what's going on around you, and you worry more about your kids I guess.

To the families in London and Egypt that were touched by the last few days events, my heart goes out to you all.

Ramblings....

I was asked today,....

are you ever going to post again?

Yeah, you know who you are..... :o)

So, since I've been lazy.... and really not a whole lot to jabber about honestly... I thought I would just ramble on about the things that are kinda going on around here. Where to start???? Ohh..... Kim, you'll like this one :o) I actually had meant to blog about this over the weekend but well, it's been a rough week more or less. Lets just go back in time a bit.... back to umm.... Friday 17th.

We had a dinner date,.... MIL was to keep the two rugrats for us, and we were going out to dinner with DH's friend and his wife. We've been out with them once or twice before. He's really quiet and mellow.... Happy to sit back and let others enjoy the evening at his expense I guess you could say. She's much younger than he is, and is always out looking for a good time LOL She's a trip. Anyhow, they picked us up and we headed out to eat,..... although we didn't know where.... we knew we were driving into Memphis, and we needed to decide WHERE to eat. Finally chose Red Lobster. I've never really eaten there that I can recall, I think once when I was a kid maybe. It was pretty good.... I even tried the seafood pizza. Something about fish or chicken on a pizza rubs me wrong... but honestly this wasn't like a regular pizza to begin with, was pretty yummy :o) We enjoyed the food, the conversation the LACK OF CHILDREN :o) After we ate, it was around 10pm.... hmmm what to do??? The idea of going to a "gentlemen's club" came up.... and not from the guys or myself. Knowing I've never been,... she was all up for going. DH didn't mind the idea either LOL Imagine that??? LOL His thought was that if I was too uncomfortable, we'd leave. So, yes we went. Sorry to disappoint ya Kim, but no, I didn't do the lapdance,.... or tip any girls... I sat off in the sidelines and just watched. I love watching people and my God what a place to do people watching LOL I watched this cute tiny girl (stripper) lead a pudgy, unkempt looking man off to the "lap dance area"... I don't think if I had the coordination to dance like they do in those frickin heals from Hell, that I could NOT be picky with whom I would dance for. DH said "it's the old fat ones that have the money...." Might be true, but I think I'd prefer the well dressed good looking men LOL But hey, that's just me! All in all we spent maybe an hour there, and it was interesting. There were fat girls, skinny girls, girls with HUGE boobs, girls with no boobs.... (that made me feel pretty good actually LOL) but my take on the whole place??? It was nothing more than a dance club minus the dancing. Loud music, lots of lights and more men than women. Although, DH said that he saw more women there than he's ever seen before,.... and I mean in the crowd. There were a handful of girls that would go up to tip the main dancer, and not get off the stage!! It was really something to watch LOL I must say that I do feel silly for getting so worked up over these places,... and actually probably wouldn't mind going back to one, where the girls actually could perform. Seriously, there wasn't a lot of dancing going on.

We didn't get home till 2am, and come morning, DH woke me and I'm thinkin it's too early to get up..... kids are still gone.... nice and quiet house.... look at the time and it's 10am!!! Our plans for the day were to go take a look at Jim Walter's Homes.... So, I jumped out of the bed and got ready and off we went. We spoke with a nice lady, who's granddaughter ended up being someone DH went to school with years ago. She assured us if we did what she suggested we could get into this home by Christmas. So, we're waiting to hear for sure on this. I really hate waiting.

Our home right now is tiny for the 6 of us. It's OLD, and has lots of problems,... we need something bigger for sure and something we don't have to try and keep up with. DH was to start a new position within his company. Not a more plush job unfortunately. He works for a steel plant,... and his job before now was mechanical engineer,... he wrote up drawings/programs for how the steel would be rolled through the machines and how it would look when it was all done. Basically they make huge steel beams for large construction projects. I think some of the steel now is actually being used for the new towers if I'm not mistaken. Anyhow,.... the company has always paid the mill workers a production bonus. DH never got this bonus since he was considered as working in the office,..... after 10 yrs of working in this office.... he's now going to the mill, to work the machines that roll out these steel bars. He just started Tuesday night. It will be tons more money, so we hope to be able to have this new home built. The job itself is sucky. It's hot and dripping wet sweaty work, he comes home blowing black crap out of his nose, and so tired that he can barely stand up. Granted this is the first week so it's really a rough adjustment. His hours will end up being 4 days on, 4 days off. He will work nights one week, and days the next. The pros to this job of course the #1 being the money, but we look forward to when he's doing the actual 4 days off. We hope for it to mean more time together, to maybe go fishing or do stuff with the kids.

So, that's been my week. DH works tonight, and will be off Sat, Sun and Monday. Hopefully that's enough time for him to recoup after the hard ass week he's had. Wish us luck on the house,.... I really hope to know something/anything by the end of next week, if not sooner. Really is killing me,... I soooo love that house!!!

Anyhow, suppose until next session, have a great cool summer,..... I know we're stayin indoors for a few days.... 89 degrees/feels like 92 (32 degrees/feels like 33 for those of you in metric lands) and it's just now 10am!!! It won't be getting any cooler over the next few days either. Phew!!! Too hot to play outside!!!